once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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