Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
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Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
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I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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