Her vagina should come with caution tape.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
