I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
