I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I sprained my soul last night
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
