am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
