Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
