I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
