i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
