My room smells like vodka and shame
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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