she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You are the jesus of drinking
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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