Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
