Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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