Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
