how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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