alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
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it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
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I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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