He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
