So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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