I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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