I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
