So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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