I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
