You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
