Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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