ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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