and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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