I think I am morally bankrupt
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
