we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My ass is underappreciated
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
