so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
