the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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