Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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