Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
