I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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