I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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