we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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