I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
