if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
