she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
