If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
