Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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