I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
