Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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