I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
