Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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