Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
