I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
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Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
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Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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