Betty ford says i'm here all night
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
