"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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