She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
