i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
