Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
