The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
