God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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