You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
