We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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