haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize