I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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