when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
