Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Too much gin, very little bucket
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Randomize
