Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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